Why do old men get to have all the fun when it comes to cars? They enjoy plush seats, roomy trunks, and (usually) some sort of wood grain interior while the rest of us are enamored with our meek and mild automatic windows and mirrors. We have to watch the news to find the weather, old men get to see the current time and temperature on their dashboard. We can fit three or four regular sized people in our vehicles, the sky is the limit in cars driven by old men. Old men (and their cars) have been ruling this world for far too long and it's time that we (as in those that aren't old men) get our piece of the automotive pie. The time for change has come.
My friend Seth and I took one major step for the Xer and Millenial generation and bought cars normally driven by old men. Seth is now driving around in a
big beautiful Buick while I'm taking up more then my fair share of road space with my
Oldsmobile Aurora. We are both
VERY happy with our purchases and the immediate respect that comes with owning a vehicle that has an engine that can power a jet but rarely finds reason to go over 45 mph.
Seth and I, as charter members of the Old Men Car Club, would like to open the club up to other members (if there are any other noble and daring souls out there). These are the rules...
1. The Old Men Car Club knows no gender. Just because old men own the market on these cars doesn't mean they will in the future.
2. The OMCC welcomes everyone of all ages... besides old men. We think the old men need to spend some time thinking about what they did and how the rest of us felt on the outside looking in.
3. The OMCC does not care about the condition of the vehicle. We consider rust, dents, and butt imprints in the leather seats to be admirable character traits.
Because we are fairly new to being owners of old men cars, we do not have an exhaustive list of what cars qualify. If you
THINK you own an old man car, feel free to write about it in the comment section and you will be approved or denied based upon the car. Here are some things that aren't old man cars; trucks, SUVs, mini-vans, or anything foreign (Honda, Hyundai, Dacia, etc.). If you're driving around in a Buick, Oldsmobile, or Cadillac, you're probably a shoo-in for membership (and possibly even for being an officer).
Membership Benefits:
We already know that owning an old man car is a treat in itself. However, as a member of the OMCC, you will also get to include on your blog, myspace, or website the official logo of the OMCC (designed by my wife) seen on the left hand side of my blog (I'll send you the html). To join, comment in the blog post below and we will contact you. We are an elite club with a (soon to be) proud heritage. Old men have had their time in the sun, it's now time for us to step into the light and stake our claim with the OMCC.
Comments (4)
Well, that is just hilarious.
I comend you guys! To bad I don't have the Neon with the New Image on the window, or the Saturn with the big wing on the back anymore. I could of sported up the car club. However my wife does have a 2003 Chevy Impala. I drive it quite often cause it gets better gas milage then my Jimmy. Yea its a newer car, but heck its huge. We had a car seat with a kid in it and 3 more kids all in the backseat the other day.
dude, i am now the proud owner of a 91 Buick LeSabre! now, i'd think that's old-man-car enough, but it gets better. the speedometer is broken, and i'm very much in favor of not getting tickets, so i try to drive very VERY passively. if i think i might be close to the speed limit, i just slow down and make sure some cars pass me.
also, glad to see you on the list of OnePrayer churches! can't wait for the launch this weekend!
@Matt Metzger - Matt, I can't tell you how proud I am to include you in the club. I'm pretty sure speedometers are purely for looks in old man cars.